Matusek satisfies one of his clauses in new lifetime contract
By: Keith Matusek
November 1, 2009

Hello Mr. Commissioner, GM, Friend,

     I write you today not only to fulfill a contract obligation but also to extend a sincere apology. The conduct that I displayed, during our third game that culminated in me tossing my bat and striking you in the orbital area, was unbecoming and quite frankly an embarrassment. I apologize for any grief I caused to you and yours as well as to the league, a league I vow to extol the virtues of wherever I go. This incident caused you to doubt me and my loyalties, which pains me greatly. I pledge to be an Apache through and through, not only do I bleed red but I bleed Apache red. Over the course of the season I have learned to trust your judgment, and while it wasn't always apparent to me at the time, I know now you always put the team’s best interest first. Not only do I believe we will move on positively from this event, but we will move on to win several Thunderbowls as well as Fat Bastard tournaments. The future never has been brighter for the Apaches, so please accept my sincerest apologies for conduct I vow will never be repeated again
                                          Your teammate, friend, and resident pitching ace,

Keith “L-train" Matusek